If I were to walk away
Then there will truly be no turning back

No second guesses
No stopping and wondering

Choose soon
There are choices

Do I give it time
Or decide that nothing will ever happen

I will wait now
But only for so long

I keep pushing myself
Does it mean anything?

How much more can I do
What more is there to say

AHHH!! I wanna shoot. I wanna gym! I wanna lose my fat!! I don't need to build muscles, I just need to lose the fat around it so that it shows. Dammit! Really, getting my body in shape is starting to seem far more important to me now than ever before. And it's not really because of her anymore... Now it has become something I feel like doing for myself. Because even the small change recently has given me a few more looks than before.

The more time that seems to pass, the less the little things seem to matter. I find it funny that I would doubt even my close friends. Funny that I can be jealous when they are near her. Faith. Trust. Respect. What do all these mean now.

This is beginning to turn into affection. Love is not the same.